Well, Battle Hipers, I’ll give you 5 guesses to figure out what I had to tear myself away from this evening to write tonight’s post:
- Watching the Green Bay Packers lose because their offense has scored 0 points
- Watching my fantasy football team lose because the Packers have scored 0 points
- Watching my OTHER fantasy football team lose because the Packers have scored 0 points
- Watching my fantasy football #slack channel implode because the Packers have scored 0 points
- Watching the remainder of the game simply to see how many additional “Jim Bob Cooter” references are made because it’s the only point total I can get excited about right now.
If you can’t tell, I’m a Packers fan.
If you’re still reading, it’s probably because you are also a Packers fan, but are not as entertained by the Jim Bob Cooter references as I am.
So, this is a probably a good time to talk about a bad habit called “eating your feelings.” Like, I don’t know…when you’re depressed. Because your NFL team is almost definitely going to lose. To a team that has won only a single game on your home turf in the last quarter century.
No big deal.
But I’m not going to eat a bacon-double cheeseburger. Or French fries. Or a whole bunch of delicious BBQ sides. Because this just flashed across the TV screen, during completely unrelated commentary:
Thank you, ESPN, for preventing me from eating an entire chocolate cake.
A few additional strategies you could try out to keep yourself from eating your feelings:
- Cheer for a new NFL team
- Sell your shares of Packers stock
- Come up with a different strategy because you remember this is a “stock that isn’t actually stock because it has no appreciating value and can’t be re-sold” (NBC Sports PFT)
- Write your brother-in-law a long, judgmental email reminding him that he doesn’t need to bring this up again
- Borrow an altered Delorean, set the flux capacitor to October 15th, 2017 and prevent Aaron Rodgers from breaking his collarbone
Simple strategies, really.
Oh look. Another Detroit touch down.
Now excuse me as I head to the kitchen…