Trick – Or Treat Myself to Empty Calories?

Whoever coined the phrase “empty calories,” obviously hates fun. And probably puppies.

 

I should know, because this very Fun Vacuum was sending telepathic messages to me during the photo shoot:

 

“Don’t eat the candy, Olivia.”

“Those are empty calories, Olivia.”

“I hate puppies, Olivia.”

 

%#$*@!#$#!!

 

I hate you, Fun Vacuum, but I get your point. So I only ate 1 piece. 1 piece of delicious, chocolatey, caramelly fun. And now every time a kid comes to our door, I find myself holding the candy bucket just a little too long. Long enough for the kids to get anxious. Like, “lady, are you going to give that candy to me, or what?”. And I give them a look that says, “Not sure kid. Once upon a time I used to have fun too. And holding onto this bucket makes me think I could have fun again. But only if I keep holding onto this bucket.” And the kid looks back at me like, “do I need to get my parents involved, here?”. And the parent standing behind them starts to look pretty serious. Because I know they’re going to steal the kid’s candy as soon he goes to sleep. So I give the bucket one last, sorrowful look before I lower it down to be taken to its better, higher basal metabolic rate home.

 

Kids. They have all the luck.

 

Speaking of which, they don’t have to work, either. I’m pretty sure our friend The Fun Vacuum also invented the marshmallow farm currently known as our modern-day office environment.

 

Seriously, who thought it would be a good idea to have humans, a previously nomadic species gifted with bipedalism (you know, the ability to walk on two legs), spend 8+ hours, 5 days a week sitting?!!

 

Ugh. I may love my empty calories, but I do NOT enjoy sitting in front of a computer all day. And I’m not alone. According to a 2013 survey from a global manufacturer of sit-stand desks, nearly 70 percent of full time American workers hate sitting all day, but 86 percent do it anyway. And worse, when they get up, most workers do it to go get food. A double-whammy of harmful habits.

 

via GIPHY

 

Clearly, lots of sitting is bad for everyone, but it’s especially bad for those of us with weak core and lower body strength, not uncommon among those who’ve had a hip replacement. Sadly, I’m not a professional hula dancer, so my work requires me to be in front a computer for most of the day. I’m a big fan of using a sit-stand desk (my favorite is this one from Varidesk), paired with a traction mat. I alternate between sitting and standing, only lowering the desk to a sitting position if I become too tired to concentrate on my work.

 

Speaking of which, I think the sugar rush from my 1 mini candy bar is starting to wear off. There are many other tips and tricks we’ll cover in later posts to address things you can do to change negative work habits – like sitting around and eating too much candy – but for tonight, I’ll leave you to your sugar coma, and to setting up your camera for tomorrow morning’s fun.

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